okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
