She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
