Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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