meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
