those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
