I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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