before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
