Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize