the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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