Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
