I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
