yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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