Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
