I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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