I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
