yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
