Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
i've created a new STD.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
MIDGETS
????
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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