she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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