so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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