you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
