I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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