well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
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