It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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