i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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