Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
