right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
