before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
