While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
