This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I need water and some morals
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
