Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize