One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
