hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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