1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
