Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
