But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
sex in a hospital.. check
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
