so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He passed out mid-signature
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Congratulations! We have a period
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