Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
