it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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