eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
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