if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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