i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
