Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize