Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Green mimosas i think yes
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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