you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
home. puking in laundry basket.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Randomize
