Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
