Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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