the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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