You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
So much rum. So many feels.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
