She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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