The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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