whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
