You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
