Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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