Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
