I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
