Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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