How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
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