The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
