just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Randomize
