Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
