Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Randomize
