Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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