Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
