my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
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