So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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