if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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