Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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