I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
