You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
