Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
