Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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