yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
