These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
