new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Randomize
