Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
